lets start the pouring of heart...
with the story of a broken heart...
how do i keep myself shut...
to prevent from us from breaking apart..
i don't know what's going on between us now...
its like as if we are not together......
she had been avoiding me and all...
kept lying to me....
how sad and sorrow i felt, im sure she don't realise it...
she had been busy with "her stuff"...
for example, messaging "god-knows-who", not contacting me, spending time with my mates,
avoiding me and lots more which only god knows....
i have been encouraging myself to be stong....
like what Syakirin said to me just now,"
just take care of yourself. tkmao psl ni kao mcm tkde mood ke, studies terjejas all ok? when there's love there's hope. just hope for the best to come ok. tkmo think what's gonna happen."
~thanks for the encouraging words......
i had been thinking and still continue thinking....
who am i to her? what does she wants from me? does she still love me?
this three question had been playing on my mind....
if you ask me, of course i love her although she hurt me ample number of times...
but still, im holding on....
maybe, this is the punishment i get of my past....
is this karma?
i don't know.......
went jamming just now...
mercenarian was there to jam too....
how sad and shock i am just now can't be imagine....
i told her to go jamming with me...
and yea, she lie to me again....
she told me she want to buy somthing and will be coming later....
i trust her words....
to my shock, i got to know she's going with maan....
and no she didn't go to buy somthing... how sad can that be??
why must she kept on lying to me??
no words can discribe my feelings right now....
i don't fucking care bout the tears that is rolling down right now...
it just come to thought, why must she avoid me and still avoiding...
i was controlling my anger n sadness just now..
at the jamming studio, she stay in the room to watch Mercenarian jam...
when its Ignified Sins turn to jam, she didn't even enter our jamming room....
how sad can that be?
there are ques on mind that kept going on....
why is she jealous and mad when i msg my ex or an old friend,
while shes just enjoy msg her ex, afiq.....
i too have feelings.... why is my feelings not being cared for??
nvm..... im just keeping my cool....
she wants me to change.... and yeah i'm going to prove to her that im changing....
seriously... im feeling sad & down... and i really mean it...
talking to her on the phone right now....
and how glad i feel that she called me.....
i really miss talking to her at night....
i really miss her.... haiz......
open up a new song just now...
an original from Ignifies Sins....
i fergot the tittle....
hahahahahaha.............
going for rock climbing at ex primary school tomorrow as an instructor...
this is also to cover for my CIP hours....
feeling so excited!!!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!!!!!
~=SirajKasturi=~
`SirajKasturi(:
