it's my life

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

hey hey... gd mornin....
well... i cant sleep rite nw.. im suppose to feel tired aft nt sleepin da whole nite ystrdae aft talkin to ibu but den im jus nt sleepy....
i talk to ibu ystrday mornin frm 2.30 till 5.30...

chatted alot with her bout life, me n dayah, n some of her fav songs which i play on my comp
while talkin to her... it was fun talkin to her.. laugh alot... stress alot... n enjoy alot....
i get to talk to dayah ystrdae mornin too bfore i talk to her mum... yea i hurt her verbally again..
but i jus couldn control as she is da one who started it... so i was like pissed off... at da same time,
a girl fren of mine called me on my cell... i talk to dayah on my hm pone n talk to da girl on my cell..
i try to like iritate dayah which she was really pissed but sayin to my girl friend like "hey darlin.. watcha doin... n im talkin to my BLODDY EX on da other pone..."

yea.. with da word BLODDY EX was mention, dayah was really dang pissed off...
she was like sort of mad n irritatin at da same time jus like hw i use to noe her... n i was like jus
keepin quite n listen to her iritatin comments all... n ya.. of course i fight back with iritatin words... so aft dat she dun wan to talk to me... sayin dat i iritated her la tu la ni la... so i told her to pass da pone to her mum which i really enjoy talkin to alot...

ibu was dissapointed of da arguement i had wit dayah... she tot by lettin us talk wud make
things better between me n her.. but den, it turn out to be da oposite.... she was a lil mad of
course... so terpakse pujok2 dier.... wen we r goin to put dwn da pone, i told her to pass a msg to dayah.. sayin dat im really sorry of my words... n tell her dat i love her.... which she did...
den later in da aftnoon, i met her at hm n she told me everythin of hidayah aft she pass my msg to her... she was mad at me wen i mention da word BLOODY EX to my girl friend... n she say dat if i love her, i dare to say BLOODY EX to people which refers to her...
yea i feel guilty of course... i jus dunno wat to do... she didn talk to me wen i went to her place jus nw.... so i jus act slumber jek....

nvm la... CHANGE TOPIC....

school was ok... was really drowzy though aft nt sleepin... bt jus try to put myself tgher n try nt to fall asleep... today i suppose to follow my sec 3 cadets for their classification shoot
at Home Team Acadamy(HTA), but den gd dis carrier fair talk which is compulsory to go, so i cant follow them... haiz... i jus wan to spend time with dem... bocs dis fri will be da last parade for my NCO batch... aft june holiday, da sec 3 will take over... ouh god time fly so fast.... bt nvm... im still goin to brief them lil bit bfore they go for their shoot....

i guess till here only... im dang drowzy rite nw... goin to da bathroom do business den off to bed for me.... nitey nites guys n gals.... stay cool... cherish ur love ones bfore they r gone...

*~=BoY_BaDdY=~*

Siraj Kasturi [2:11 AM]

Thursday, May 17, 2007

hey hey.... along time since i blog... lots of things hav been happenin lately...
some i may enjoy n some i feel frustrated bout....

okok... firstly.. life has been goin on quite well.. but da prob is, i just cant erase da memories
dat i hav with her n about her... y must it keep botherin me??
although she already hav IRWAN, i jus cant forget bout her... jus y is dis so....
she kept on sayin,"y can u forget bout MEL dat easily n y cant u do it towards me??"
MEL is a completely diff story la... i can forget bout her bcos i hav U by my side dear... dats y
its easy i can forget bout her... cant u recall y i broke up with her about... its all bout our story
of buildin a new life.. dats y i can forget bout her dat easily n cant forget bout u....
im happy dat shes happy but at da same time, i feel sad too cos i lose her...
ive been on dates, but i jus cant fall for them cos my heart is still with u dear.... pls try to undrstan..

change da topic!!

y r dere so many hate taggers in my blog... guys or gals, if u tink dat im childish or watsoeva, thanks... bcos i am childish... i dun act mature in da eyes of others... deres no big deal if im childish.... everybody hav their own part of childishness not only myself... so tink bfore u say anythin... if u tink dat all my story here SUCKS, deres still LOTS of blog out dere dat u
can view n hate tag.... just as easy as dat....

life's goin on well wit da chillerz... really enjoy myself with them cos they r my only pillar of hope.... if u guys r wonderin who is da chillerz, they r my chat clan...
gt to noe them frm radio chat room n i tag with them since den onwards... jus wen will da nxt outin be held... really cant wait... mummy's giving birth soon... so all da chillerz r to come dwn if nt u noe wat da consequences wud be.... as for DAYAH, i dunno whether is she still in our family or nt... i introduce them to her... they felt sad after noein da story between me n her
recently... da chillerz mish her lots includin me... jus hope she return back to us....

people hav been tellin me to move on.. start a new life... its jus so hard... my heart is still with her.... haiz... nw im confused.. shud i wait for her no matter hw long it takes or shud i jus proceed... people hav been tellin me to jus move on as its better dat way... ya i noe.. but its jus too hard... nobody suits her place... deres one more promise dat i keep to her which im goin to fulfill it... i dunno if she noes wat is it or nt... bt i guess she noes....

i guess till here only uh... mayb i blog ltr.... taking cares guys n gals....
take care of ur relationship....

*~=BoY_BaDdY=~*

Siraj Kasturi [12:05 PM]

Friday, May 4, 2007

eh pukimak!! otak sort sak..

pukimak ane or hate-tagger ane ni brani nk uat cerite ni...

for ur info, da REAL princess is now infront of baddy wen im bloggin....

so who da fuck is da one who brani sgt nk bobal konek psl dier ni!! klau kau brani uat,

brani tanggong uh.. nk tag pki name kau sndri uh.. tkya nk pki name (fake) princess....

klau kau tk suke bacer blog aku psl ade byk sgt aku tulis psl dier, ade byk lgik blog yg kau bole view n hate tag dere motherfucker!!

even though she hate me, she dun hav da heart nk kene smpi ckp gini kt tag!! atleast she hav da limit of taggin even though she hate me.... fuck off la motherfucker!!! jgn nk pki name org lain.. BE ORIGINAL!!! fuck off u motherfucker hate tagger!!!

*~=BoY_BaDdY=~*

Siraj Kasturi [5:50 PM]

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

here is a liric dat i wrote bout hidayah... hope u guys undrstan... i haven got da tune yet... as soon as i get it, i shall sing it... teehee~ enjoy...

"Sepi mencengkam..menghantui jiwaku...

Bila ku kerinduan..pada dirimu...

Ayu wajahmu..seringkali diingatan...

Menemaniku..dalam kegelapan...

Diri tersiksa..menahan sebak di dada...

Mengenang kau tiada..membuat ku gundah...

Belaian jiwa..yang hanyut tanpa kata...

Menangisi..membasahi cinta...

(pre-chorus)

Akan ku...merempuhi segala...

RIntangan...yang melanda...

Biarpun...akhirnya ku tersiksa...

Asalkan ku dapat bersamamu....

(chorus)

Oh hidayah...kekasihku...

Dengarkan lah..rayuanku...

Kembali lah..ke pangkuanku...

Seperti dahulu kala...

Oh hidayah...kekasihku...

Sambut lah cintaku...

Hanya kau sorang...

Yang selama ini ku cintai..."

*~=BoY_BaDdY=~*

Siraj Kasturi [10:47 PM]

fuck fuck fuck.........
haiz... wat m i suppose to say... people have been tellin to move on as wats is told on my tag..
i dunno jus wat to do.. majority may say,"jus move on n forget bout her la... u hurt her too much
n da more u pester her, da more she will hate u.."

i realise dat i hurt her.. bt must she take things for granted?? i noe most grl do...
jus y isit hard for girls to jus forgive n forget.. ya i noe guys dis, guys dat is da reason for them to be like dis.. im jus so curious.. y must girl nowadays take things for granted... like i said in previous post,"they slash their hands n put da blame on da guys who hurt them". is dat wat they do to let out their stress n anger?? i jus wonder...

da fact dat i cant move on n forget bout her is dat i jus love her too much... ive done lots of things with her n bein joyful with her... i noe she hate me for hurtin her upteen time... but i jus cant forget bout her... shes da joy of my life... ibu has hopes... her most highest hope is us.. she want us to be peaceful n loving twards each other.. she jus wan us to be tgher.. but den, we broke her hopes... she feel sad bout everythin... she suffer a great lost.. ibu told dis to me... i dunno whether hidayah noe or nt bout ibu hopes n her feelins bout dis... yea ibu told me to move on too.. she say,"wat has gt in my daughter dat u cant forget bout
her??" well ibu, deres r things dat u can noe n u cant noe bout us even too u guys out dere... also, i wonder y do u guys love to interupt in peoples life?? im nt saying dat its wrong uh but den, cmon la guys... its peoples life... u cant tell them to do things dat they refuse to do rite... bfore u ask people to do dat, u tink for urself... do u like people to tell u wat to do in ur life?? jus tink ok guys...

nw ibu is sick... shes admitted in tan tock seng hospital...im goin to visit her on thurs (if she's still in) wit my chillerz mate which consists of me, aliah, d.b, dzul n kimi... hidayah is part of da family too.... i introduce her to them n make her part of our family
which they really love especially aliah.. god i miss all u chillerz man!! jus wish our pit durin da june or sept holidays is a success...

n oso.. I JUS HATE FUCKING MY FAMILY!!! wateva i do is all a sin to them... like my sis, i ask her to help me to masage my back,
but wat did she say,"ur nt my father so y must i listen to u".. my mum is always naggin at me no matter wat i do... n my dad... wateva i do is wrong to him... i do dis i do dat is all wrong... fuck la!!!! argh..... wat da fuck is wrong with them... if they love me, y cant they jus allow me to be free... y cant i hav a free life like u guys... juz y mus my life be filled with misery... jus y....
so far, only hidayah noe everythin bout my life n family... bt nw.. i lose her... i gt no one to talk to...

jus y mus my life be so fuck up!! jus y!! i want a happy life... i wan a peace family.. i want a lovable grl which is hidayah... dats all i wan n i ask for... nothing else... till here.....

*~=BoY_BaDdY=~*

Siraj Kasturi [10:07 PM]